A little while back, I showed men, “5 ways to turn your woman on…”  I also spoke about, “The Great Misconception.” Which, detailed what men really need in a relationship, versus, what some women, believe men want in a relationship.  That all brought me here.

1. Stimulate His Mind, Before You Stimulate His Body


Men are not as simple as some would have you to believe. Sex, food, and sports is all we need right? Wrong. Once a man has truly found and understands himself, he requires much more. Men need a woman who he can experience cerebral orgasms with. We want to talk about more than money, social media, and reality TV. Men want to express themselves without judgment. We need a woman who can not only engage him but cultivate his mind like a farmer to the soil of his mind. This is a truly intimate connection without touch or foreplay.

2. Support is Underrated

Why do so many men say that their women don’t support them, or support them enough?” Many men say that their wives or girlfriends are not really their friends. Men’s sadness and disappointment are palpable when they talk about feeling alone and unsupported in their marriages because of this missing aspect of connection. “For men, a “friend” means someone who likes you, is happy for you when you make it, and who encourages you in your career and personal goals because, in spite of all else, they really do want you to be happy,” says, Dr. Lynn Margolies.

I know [you] believe you’ve supported him enough. However, a man might need a specific form of support such as emotional or spiritual. You may believe he needs financial. However, for a man, finances are the weakest form of support. Supporting your man in the most effective way, requires objectivity, autonomy, and of course, humility. Praising and rejoicing in his successes independent of you. This is challenging for a lot of women because you believe, with his success comes his succession and as a result, he may outgrow you or not have as much time for you. This is where humility and selflessness come into play.

You can bait a fish with any lure, but you can’t reel that fish in the wrong line.

A supportive, understanding, and motivational woman is a safe haven. A woman who is willing to listen and understand provokes an open and more transparent relationship. This is the level of support a man dreams of.

3. Laugh Together, To Last Together

Photo Credit: William Stitt

I can’t even imagine being in a relationship with a woman who I cannot laugh with. Nothing is worse than coming home from a long hard day, and your girlfriend/wife has no idea how to cheer you up or at the very least take your mind off of what you’re dealing with. Naturally, this goes both ways… but you need to make sure you get him to laugh or at the very least, smile. You know your man and what his sense of humor is like. So, once you see that he needs a “pick-me-up,” resort to your inner, silly self.

Essayist and biographer Agnes Repplier, who was known for her common sense and good judgment, said, “We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.” Learn to laugh [at] each other. Not just [with] each other. Poke fun at each other. Play practical jokes on each other. This is the type of woman that every man loves and adores.

4. Men love Intimacy

Furthermore, men love a woman that can create a space where he can relax, and feel the weight of the world has been lifted off of his shoulders.  At the end of the day, our families are looking to us for the answers. This level of pressure and stress is immense and increases throughout the week. It can be overwhelming.

Somehow, being a man is almost synonymous with internalizing feelings.

Having a woman that knows how to help us release those feelings each day, is priceless.

relationships-etcetera-quote-scott-fitzgerald-intimacy-men-womenLastly, having a conversation is a form of intimacy. Especially when you’re engaging in, “outercourse.” I don’t mean your typical dinner and a movie or watching a television show together. I mean, experiencing each other. Go to a painting class together. There are tons of, “sip and paint,” in most major cities. How about a picnic in the park, or riding bikes together? Reading a book you both love together. He reads a page, you read the next page. Cooking together… that’s an easy one! Men love this. We might not say it, but we do! These are the experiences that a woman can create for us that we remember, that we gravitate towards, that arouses us in ways, foreplay, and intercourse cannot.



5. Be Proactive and Initiate

Men love a selfless woman. A woman who will, “just-do,” without provocation. One that doesn’t need a reason give of herself. She simply loves to please him and make him happy. This could come in many forms. That being said, you as the woman have to decide what your man likes and needs. At the end of the day, what actions you take, are all based on the man standing in front of you each day. All things considered, these are merely guidelines for you to follow. You have to determine what is best for your relationship at the end of the day.

So, go ahead, pay for his meal, pay the tip, take him out (and not just as a treat), buy him a drink, or make his meal before he gets home. Buy tickets to his favorite sporting or music event. Think ahead… learn his mannerism and habits and make it happen before he does it.