After the events of Chronicles of a Former Serial Dater Part V, I could be found sitting up in my dorm room like Brandy. My thoughts were of Danielle and Twin. Being a serial dater, I was shocked at my reaction. But my thoughts were scattered and dispersed between the two of them.
On one hand, I was thinking…
They know about each other and I’m honest with them about it. What they do with that information is up to them. Danielle has a baby, a baby daddy, and a whole heap-a-issues. Twin is acting like psychotic Jack Nicholson with an axe in his hand.
However, instead of holding an ax, Twin was armed with a verbal assault that would make the likes of Dennis Leary feel like an episode of Sesame Street.
Nevertheless, I began to feel a sense of remorse. Like, I had done something wrong. How in the world did I end up in this mess—and what did they do/say after I walked off?
Danielle’s Confession
Danielle once told me that I was special. I asked her what she meant by that. She said that I’m not like most guys she knows. A lot of the men she dealt with were continually trying to have sex with her. She also knew sex was always down the priority list for me. I was more interested in getting to know her and securing our friendship. Our conversations were always so in-depth. I learned of her fears, dreams, and inner-most feelings. Needless to say, we shared plenty.
I thought of these conversations while I sat on my bed. I shuffled through my thoughts like the pages a of book feverishly turning from one chapter to the next.
In my bewildered stoicism, I missed the knock at the door.
I Don’t Want It, I Want You
Once I awoke from my hypnotic-like trance, I slowly opened the door—and like an ambush was coming, I peered through the crack only to see Danielle standing there crying (and laughing like the Joker).
Puzzled and uncomfortable as she made me feel, I allowed her to enter without a request.
What happened after that I will never forget.
Danielle: Jay, I’m pregnant, and I’m in love with a man that isn’t the father of my child. Isn’t that the funniest sh_t you’ve ever heard? I just walked all the way across campus while your friend followed me halfway. Stalking me like a serial killer.
As a matter of fact, there’s only one starting point guard on this team, and I-am-she.
Wait…
What?
How does she know about the “positions?”
Danielle: (with tears streaming down her face) Forget all that man—I’m scared. I don’t want this baby. In fact, my ex and I have been broken up. It was a moment of weakness, and I was the weaker vessel. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize until I found out I was pregnant, I am in love with you. The thought of telling you that day was gut-wrenching. I wanted so badly to hide it from you I thought of dropping out. However, most of all, I thought of what we have. To have this baby would change the dynamics of our relationship. Now, this Twin sh_t you have me in. What the hell is that? Your dumbass should be dating me exclusively. Serial dating ass. You playing games.
My Reprieve
After Danielle decided to “go-in” on a profanity-laced tirade. I felt cornered. So I blurted out in an irresponsible manner…
Ummm… “serial dating ass?” You don’t have the right to question me. You were down there getting it in with your ex–and we haven’t even had sex yet. Furthermore, you have the audacity to confront me about Twin? You’ve known about her since the beginning. She has always been aware of you. Why all of sudden do you seem to care more now than you ever did? You know what? Forget that. I believe your actions today are not only about the thought of losing me, but they’re also about the thought of losing me to another woman.
(Hard Sigh) Yo… I can’t say this is the end, but I need to hear the door close and you on the opposite side of the slam.
Because I know you’re gonna slam my door.
Besides… Zero is coming through, and she wouldn’t take kindly to you being here causing complications in my day.
In a sarcastically fervent manner, Danielle proceeds towards the exit. My back turned, I hear the creak of old hinges and the twist of the doorknob. All of a sudden, the pace of her footsteps slow—then stop. As she turns towards me, the door opens but Danielle isn’t within arms reach of it—and she isn’t paying attention.
Danielle: Don’t strain your little brain thinking about this. [I’m] done. And, I’m getting an abortion.
Twin: I guess I did take your starting spot after all.
Wait…
What?
How does [she] know about the “positions” too?
Jay Thomas
An efficacious self-made thousandaire writer that's emphatically loud-minded, and indefinitely sarcastic. With a perpetually waggish and whimsical charisma, his indefatigable mission to evolve the world continues.