Ice Ice Baby

That icy-cold, frozen treatment that you receive because you had the audacity to approach a woman. The resulting chill she gives you is synonymous with the rapid movement of your feet—headed towards the nearest emergency exit. Totally embarrassed, Margaret Thatcher couldn’t save you from the cold you feel. You’re stuck… frostbitten by her discontent, you vow to never venture down that road again.


For the record, the above scenario occurred when I was 15 years old while visiting the arcade with a group of friends. OK, fine… I’ll admit, my approach wasn’t the savviest. I stumbled and staggered as if I was in a drunken stupor. I definitely put Mel Gibson to shame with that ridiculous rant. I truly never gave her a chance to be reciprocal of my affections, because 5 seconds after I spoke, I knew I had messed up bad. Her barren stare began to drudge up feelings of bad Mexican and occupied bathroom stalls.

So I conquered my biggest fear, yielded to peer pressure for the first time, opened myself up for a Dikembe Mutombo grade rejection at the rim. The worst part—I saw it coming and still proceeded towards her. I felt like someone put a banana in my tailpipe while serving me video game tokens. Could the fates be so cruel to a boy such as me?

Apparently so.

Icy Veins

Consequently, it took me over 10 years to approach another woman. Instead, I used another bargain-basement (low risk) tactics, to try to garner the attention of a young woman. My hard tungsten-like tactics seemed to garner the inquisitive gaze of even more young women… (than my previous tactics). They seemed astonished by my sheer mystery and my lack of interest to badger after them.

Needless to say, my heart was pumping ice water… It was pretty cold at age 25. That previously enlightening experience had truly scarred (and scared) me from all things that dealt with putting my heart on the proverbial chopping block. While many women expressed their affections for me during that time, I couldn’t fathom the emotional content required to engage them on their level. So, I left my feelings in my back pocket where no one could see them…

…that is….until, I met Raegan.

There’s Something About Raegan

Have you ever met someone who you initially wouldn’t donate a sliver of your energy to? That [wasn’t] Raegan. In an unfamiliar dark room, Raegan seemed to know where all the buttons were, and how to push them. From her captivating smile, and distinctive lips—to her Caribbean heritage, blended with the enthralling sound of her voice… she had me at, “hello.”

Pointless, yet apathetic efforts were no match… she easily siphoned off my so-called, pride and ego, with her feminine wiles. Our conversations evolved into constant visits during homeroom, balloons for no reason, carrying her books, and meet-ups at lunchtime. To say the least, I was in an orgasmic daze. Raegan got the drop on me, and I didn’t care if she took the shot. I wasn’t moving.

Icy Roads Ahead


The dating process today can be perilous and convoluted… and while I do miss teen dating, I realize that today’s dating world does bear some similarities to the way things were back when I was in high school. People still deceived you, slept around, broke up with you for bizarre reasons—and chose someone else based on how popular, or “cool” they were.

I learned another tough lesson when Raegan skipped school for an in-home encounter with someone else. Her [duplicitous ] ways finally caught up to her on a Monday morning when she wasn’t where she would normally have been when I would come to visit her.

My first thoughts were not pessimistic… in fact, they were favorable.

“She must be sick…or maybe she missed the bus.”

However, those thoughts were quickly dispatched when I found out from a little birdie that she, and someone else had played truant for the day.

This is where that apathy I described earlier would have come in handy. A small vile of an emotional recalcitrant elixir would have been most helpful here.


She caught me slippin’.

It Happens To Best Of Us

Don’t think for a second that from generation-to-generation the cheating, lying, and deceptiveness you can find in some people will change. There will always be people in this world who do not have your best interest at heart. The dating world has its pitfalls, scary moments, and lessons to learn. Just make sure you are always aware, approach with your eyes-wide-open, but stay emotionally available regardless.

This way, you will be ready no matter what the outcome.