I personally believe that one of the major reasons people are single is because they do not realize they are being attacked (on a daily basis) by negative energy. If you are not aware of the attacks, how can you defend yourself against them?
Let’s talk about a few…


Ever have that family member that can’t seem to say anything positive about anything? The minute you go to them for advice or just to vent, they’re like…. ”yeah girl, he ain’t shit…”Or, “typical man.” As a man, nothing is worse than other men (in your family) who don’t hold you accountable when you’re doing wrong. Oftentimes, encouraging, or enabling the behavior.


Watching certain shows that depict the opposite sex in a negative way, impacts the way you view them (over a period of time), and the ideals you formulate in your mind. Yeah yeah… “I know, it’s just entertainment.” However, if you don’t believe me, look at how news media has impacted the way people view black men and women.


Friends (for the most part) have the best of intentions, but they can be destructive to your goals. They can infect you with their bad experiences and pass that off as good advice. Said friends haven’t healed, and wouldn’t have the ability to offer solid advice, they haven’t taken themselves.


When you view negative images, videos, or portrayals of the opposite sex, you may believe, “it’s just a picture.” However, over a period of time, after you’ve seen so many of them, you unconsciously start to believe what you see (if you haven’t seen enough positive images to offset the negative ones). We all know, on social media, negative garners more attention than positive.


This culture has run rampant through our society. Anyone can create one. If you want to start a conversation, post a meme that says… ”black men should, or black women should…” Or, “you aren’t a real man/woman…” It’s silly, but it works every, single, time. It gets people riled-up, and then, the negative energy begins to flow. You are now under attack.

Social groups

Photo Credit: Adam Przewoski
being in certain social groups can spread the negativity and hurt to a large audience, all at the same time. There are a lot of hurt people in these groups.. and they are contagious.


we all like to believe we are so strong mentally. However, when faced with the redundant sound of music, we can be attacked negatively and not even know it. Ever listen to a love song that, “puts you in the mood?” Well, negative songs about the opposite sex can do the same. Don’t think for a second that they can’t.
Be very careful with what, and whom you associate yourself with. It is very important that you surround yourself with nothing but positive people, images, music, and groups.