All things considered, lust and lavishness are not priorities. The “good” within a man is the most important character trait to look for when searching for a potential partner.

That being said, if you want love, [if you REALLY want love] you have to look beneath the surface at the things that will sustain your relationship over time. Not the things that bring you temporary happiness.

So what should I do?

First, that means ignoring:

  • the cars
  • clothes
  • money
  • accomplishments
  • accolades
  • the great sex
  • his body
  • his height
  • how big his feet are
  • his level of attractiveness 
  • his career
  • the type of house he has

What should I Look for in a Good Man?

Good man driving a New York City Subway
Photo Credit: Oliver Cole

By, “good man” I mean, is he a good father? Good son? Is he respectable in the eyes of his peers? Respectable to elders? Is he a protector… (not just of the woman he’s with), but women in general. What about children? How does he treat family members? Is he involved in his community? Does he have integrity? Is he a loving, kind, communicator?

And most of all, does he adore you?

By the same token, is he a hard worker? And not just for himself, but for others. Working hard for yourself is one thing. Working hard and giving selflessly to others is another.  Furthermore, it takes a ton of character to give to someone other than yourself.


The Dating Wall and How to Knock it Down

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What Else Should I look for in a Good Man?

At this point, these are the core values inherent in the man you pledge your loyalty to, be in a relationship with and eventually marry. However, there are other qualities you can find in a good man that are not as obvious.

One of which is, being a provider.

Good Man, Waiting on girlfriend with balloons in a park
Photo Credit: Dev Benjamin

In my opinion, being a provider is difficult to quantify. Of course, different women view being a provider in various ways. Some view it as paying bills. Some view being a provider as paying bills primarily, but they also value other aspects of providing. That being said, there are women who believe that a good man provides in many ways. Not just one way or one way primarily.  He provides, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially.

Good Man Blues

I don’t believe a man needs an A+ in every group to be deemed as a good man. Furthermore, I do not believe a woman should look down on, insult, not choose or belittle a man because he might be a C+ in the financial area but he’s a B+ or higher in every other group. As a woman, you are a part of his life to help him gain balance in that area. Please understand, I said,

“help him gain balance.”

You as a woman have to figure out what that means for you and your relationship.

Are There Other Qualities I Should Look For?

Definitely! Those are just the core qualities and base character traits that will bring you lifelong happiness and sustain your relationship. So when you first meet him, or even if you’ve dated him for a few months, keep your eyes open.

Everything else is simply a bonus.

Do you feel that some of the criteria on your list of preferences is preventing you from meeting that special person?

Please comment below