Leah36's Diary Entry: 01
What exactly just happened here?
Let me be clear on my feelings about COVID-19 Pandemic dating. It’s some ole’ bs. But first, I’ll give you a little foreshadowing so you’ll further understand why I feel this way.
There was a point… well, I thought there was at least a process to this dating thing about 6 months ago. For what it was worth, I enjoyed the process of getting to know random men. It was like a game of whack-a-mole. Knock one man down, and another one pops up. Men can be so pubescent, ready, and willing to do whatever to impress an attractive girl. So, I consistently had a rotation of guys that were fun, friendly, generous, and hot n’ ready whenever I wanted, like Little Ceasars Pizza.
Not to mention, It is dating, right?
Pandemic Pandemonium
Another point to mention, there’s nothing wrong with having fun during a process in which women typically get the smelly… okay, sh^^ty end of the stick. Therefore, I stopped worrying about their feelings and focused on my own agenda—which was to findem’-fu^^em’ and flee.
Okay, I’m joking. Did I have sex with a few of them? Definitely. I mean… what do you want? One looked like Idris Elba with a Tyson Beckford body and a George Clooney smile. WTF would you do?
The Pandemic Has Arrived
It’s April, COVID-19 has arrived (unwelcomed and unannounced). Actually, it’s been here, but I was finally impacted from a work standpoint. My industry collapsed like buildings on an active fault line. Like, my panties for the Idris-Beckford-Clooney guy. Dude, that night? Okay, let me get back on topic. COVID, COVID, COVID… focus!
If you haven’t noticed, I’m a sexually liberated woman. I don’t feel the need to live behind society’s constraints or judgments. I do what makes me happy, and I don’t have a problem expressing it openly. My COVID-19 dating days [were] full of hot sex on a platter. What else was a girl to do? I’m an entrepreneur. I have my own schedule, I pave my own way, and walk to the beat of my own big ass drum, with some big ass bass drum mallets the size of King Kong’s… well you know. But… did you notice I said, “were full of hot sex?”
Catchin’ Feelings?
It is a long established fact that men catch feelings faster than their hairline starts receding. Then, try to act like everything is cool. No sh^t! This pandemic dating became a bit much once two of these guys came at me with the…
Leah, my feelings are growing out of control. The time we spend makes me forget the world. I’ll drink your bath water.
WHAT?!!
Slow—TF—Down Mr. Rochester
This pandemic has me learning lessons faster than cliffs notes. These dudes don’t “Know the Ledge.” They’ve messed up my whole pimp plan and good d^ck getting scheme. Guess Big Daddy Kane wasn’t lying… “Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy.” Well, smashin’ ain’t easy when you’re a woman without a pulse when it comes to sex.
There’s this song called by recording artist, “H.E.R.” It’s called, “I Won’t.” In it, she describes how she just wants to hang out, chill, and do whatever. Whatever you do, don’t get in your feelings if I don’t feel the same as you. Which, we know I’m not going to feel the same as you so don’t even go there.
On the phone pouring your heart out won’t change that fact. MF always trying ta ice-skate uphill. These men will climb Mt. Everest with frozen boxer briefs and thong flip flops if I’ll feel the same when if they get to the top.
The ladies know exactly what I’m talking about.
"This is
some ole'BS"
Dealing with a man’s feelings when he chooses to express then (and yours ain’t the same) is like hearing nails screeching on a chalkboard.
Not to mention, unrequited love is real, especially during this pandemic. My love was (and is) not coming around (even on a merry go round). In fact, it was never in play. You in the outfield trying to catch flyballs and I’m not even at-bat. I’m just sitting in the dugout with a dumbass look on my face trying to figure what TF you’re doing and why you let your feelings get caught.
Be that as it may, these fish were caught in a catch and release stream. They’re going back.
Upfront Contract
With the above in mind, please note—I give full disclosure to the men I deal with. A WHOLE disclaimer.
No claims, representations or warranties, whether express or implied, are made by ‘Leah’ as to the , reliability of her feelings, openess of her heart or any particular fu^^ks she may have laying around for the ‘pimpee’ (that’s you) to utilize. Furthermore, ‘Leah’ the party named, accepts no liability whatsoever for the, reliability of her feelings, openess of her heart or any particular fu^^ks she may have laying around for the “pimpee” to utilize. The buyer will bear the entire expense for repair of their own heart and any particular feelings they may have caught during this COVID-19 pandemic.
Be On My Way
Coming right back to H.E.R. She has another song that represents how I feel right now. It’s called, “Be On My Way.” The best part about this song is the part where she says…”It doesn’t always have to be something more…so I’ll be on my way.” These men don’t understand I don’t know what I want… so in the meantime, my vagina is laser-focused because it vibrates on a different frequency than my mind and heart…
…and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Did you find a "coronabae" during this pandemic and when you got tired of the arrangement, couldn't get rid of them?
Please comment below
Jay Thomas
An efficacious self-made thousandaire writer that's emphatically loud-minded, and indefinitely sarcastic. With a perpetually waggish and whimsical charisma, his indefatigable mission to evolve the world continues.
