Sharon's Diary Entry: 03

Ghosting Seem to be a Culture Now

I don’t really understand why people choose Ghosting over giving a sh^t about someone’s feelings besides their own. It makes absolutely no sense. Actually, it doesn’t make sense. They are selfish, self-absorbed, and insensitive. In essence, I feel like if a person ghosts, they never cared about that person in the first place.

To put it another way, the entire situation was a deception.

My Current Situation

As an illustration, I’ve been ghosted by 4 people in a span of 3 months. Not only that but, they legit invested a ton of time with me. Then, POOF! they were gone like a damn…. ghost! One moment they are there, and the next they’re not—leaving behind their spiritual remnants of failed potential.

Not to mention, they all said they were feeling me. We didn’t even have sex. Just extremely deep conversations, and exchanges. It was a true time investment on both sides. So, why would I think they’d be ghosting me after all of that?

Online Ghosting

I read your blog about the Lost Art of Communication. I’m starting to think that’s the problem. In fact, I know that’s the problem. Meeting all of these men online through dating apps and websites has turned me into a digitized version of myself.

In other words, I met [all of them online], and 2 out of 4 of those men I met in person. The others were just extended conversations where I fell into the trap of “textationships” you mentioned in your blog.

It’s important to realize, I am not cool with this, “giving no fu^^s culture. Not caring about people’s feelings. It has created a society of automatons that have no sensitivity toward each other, and I’m not just built that way. For this reason, I do not give of myself emotionally mentally that easily. But I am transparent and open which makes the flow easier.

Ghosting Excuses

After the first two men ghosted me, I reached out to a friend of mine. I asked him, why do men do this? He laughed. But, then he followed up by saying…

Listen, women are the worst ghosters. You all will say something like… “I just don’t want the confrontation.” Well, how do you know there will be one? You all base everything on your past. I doubt that any of you ever really heal because you base everything on your past.  Men literally have to overcome the 20 other dudes before him just to get to who you really are. All of em, stacked on top of each other like pancakes. And, you have to eat the entire plate before you get anything else.

But Wait, There’s More…

That’s dating women in a nutshell. What’s worse, if you miss any of their checklist items, they will ghost the sh^t out of you without a reason given. Hell, some of them actually ghost men for fun because they never intended to go any further. They just wanted to use up his money and time. Coupled with the fact that you all love attention (especially now, with this pandemic), so you’ll waste a man’s time then ghost him. In fact, one woman online told me she had 100+ messages in her inbox on a dating site (that’s why she took so long to respond during our conversation). Yes, that’s all she said, then disappeared again. This time, for good with no reason. Just ghosted.

I sat there flabbergasted.  Couldn’t believe this actually happened to men as well.

More Ghosting Excuses

Ok, I needed a second opinion, because my friend sounded like a bitter Bob.

I reached out to my friend Ashley, and she said…

Men are confrontational. If you try and explain, they will just argue and debate. Even worse, they may curse you out for having the audacity to reject them.  So, I just ghost all of em.  It’s not right, but I’d rather play it safe. Furthermore, I’ve been ghosted a few times and it actually did hurt my feelings. So I know what you’re going through. Maybe that’s my karma… maybe they’re just sh^^ty people.  I don’t know.

For the most part, I began to understand the thought process behind ghosting. However, I still didn’t think it was right to make someone else pay for what another person did.  We like to be treated as individuals. In fact, we hate to be put in a box or stereotypes as women. But, we’ll stereotype men and their emotions or feelings into a box of agitated and unstable testosterone. Yet, we’ll get mad if one of them says… “you must be on your period.” Or, “you’re just being emotional.”


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Giving Up Yet"

Clearly, I am frustrated with the entire dating process. Consequently, Covid-19, and this pandemic, has ruined my typical dating process. I’ve had to learn people from across a keyboard. Or, with phone calls or video chat. I need to go out, enjoy them in different atmospheres, and go from there. Furthermore, this isn’t what I signed up for—but neither is dying from COVID-19.

That being said, if this is the biggest issue I’m having, I guess I can’t complain at all… considering the circumstances of others.

Ghosters Beware: Going Forward

“Abandon Hope… all Ye who enter here.” Literally, and figuratively.

In spite of all that, I’m not going to start ghosting dudes, but I am definitely going to take a different approach to this “Pandemic Dating” process. Maybe I’ll just be a bit tighter with my openness and not get caught up so easily. Perhaps, I will just let this ride for a few months and see if it clears up.

In short, I’m blaming COVID-19 and this pandemic, mixed with ghosting ass mofos, for my current disposition. These opportunist men have been a rash on my ass. COVID-19 has been a zit on my face that won’t go away fast enough.

How did you feel after you realized you'd been ghosted? Or, have you been the ghoster, and why did you ghost them?

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