As I’ve gotten older, the experiences of my life have cultivated me into a more patient man.  More patient with people, progress, and process.  As a result, I’ve applied that philosophy to my dating and personal life. I realize that being patient with people is the best way to get to know and understand them.

Trust me when I say, people have come in and out of my life so often, it sometimes feels like more are going than staying. Like they are on a pilgrimage to seemingly greener pastures with someone else.


Ghosted? Yeah, been that

I’ve been ghosted at least 3 times that I know of. Some just stopped calling (and wouldn’t answer the phone) for their own reasons. Some jumped to their own conclusions and didn’t even give me a chance to explain. Others just couldn’t fathom the fact that, yes, you will need to have patience with me. So, they ghosted. One woman even walked because I didn’t do what she wanted (after I had done what she wanted a hundred times before that). Another woman used me for free meals… (yes some women do that) while one used me to pass time (and they do this as well). 

Situations like these did frustrate me.  Consequently, I could have easily gotten completely frustrated and just given up.  However, a patient (and aware) mentality, kept me grounded (and continues to do so).  I realized that sometimes you will have to dig to the bottom of the barrel to find that one shiny, and perfectly ripe apple—buried beneath all the rotten ones… but you have to be willing to go through the process of digging.

Being Patient Has Various Rewards 

Funny huh? I laugh at it now. Yes, Jay has been through the same pains of dating you have. You know what? It’s all-to-the-good because I trust the process.  That process, the dating process, has its rewards even when it doesn’t work out.  You learn so much from the experience. Not only that, but you also meet some really great people.  I also realized people come into your life for many reasons such as becoming a true friend or business partner.  We just have to keep that mentality when we meet them.  Instead of instantly thinking… “he/she could be the one…” we should be thinking, “this is a nice person, let’s get to know them better without the romantic feelings involved.” Or…. something like that.  You get what I’m saying.



I want you to be (more) patient. Always remember, you’re learning a totally different person with habits, routines, different upbringing, life experiences, hardships, successes, etc.  If they don’t do what you want, don’t fret—don’t over-think it… be patient.  If they walk, (or you decide to leave) take from the experience what you can, learn from it, and use it as a positive (not a crutch or handicap to become bitter or resentful) for the next dating experience.

When it comes to waiting on what you want, it doesn’t mean, sit idly by and watch opportunities pass you by, like speeders on the highway.  It means, know when to let things come to you (and know when to go get them). Don’t be reckless, and please don’t be overly anxious and speed-up the process because you want to get to the relationship.  Go with the flow of energy, enjoy the process, and the moments you create.  Develop your bond organically, and most of all, enjoy the person you’re with.

Have you ever been so obsessed with the end-game, that you forgot to enjoy the dating process?
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