The Prodigal Son

In the biblical story of the ‘prodigal son,’ a father has two sons. The younger son asks for his inheritance and, after wasting his fortune (the word prodigal means “wastefully extravagant”), becomes destitute. He returns home with the intention to beg his father to be made one of his hired servants, expecting his relationship with his father is likely severed.

The father welcomes him back and celebrates his return. The older son refuses to take part. The father reminds the older son that one day he will inherit everything and that they should still celebrate the return of the younger son because he was lost and is now found.

 

The Prodigal Ex-Girlfriend

So, the modern story of the prodigal ex-girlfriend goes a little something like this… The ex-girlfriend wants the sun, moon, and the stars, and I’m just starting my career. I give her everything that I have, including the shirt off my back, all my emotions, and my last piece of cake… She then frivolously would squander all of those things, and leaves me for seemingly greener pastures. She returns to me 10 years later with the intention to beg me to take her back and expecting a seamless transition back to where we once were.

N… It’s been 10 years

But of course, this was my first love… and by first love, I mean the woman who I trip, slipped and fell-in-love with. Prior to that, I was harder than a diamond-d. Yes… I went there. My mentality was that of a young man who was unstoppable. Like I’ve said in the past… “we all have a plan..”

Back to the story.

I welcome her back with open arms. I was looking, waiting, or whatever you want to call it. Sitting on a new house, money in order, a new car, my mind was focused. Basically, I was a more advanced, and more wise version of that young man I was back in my twenties. I believe she saw that when she came to visit me. I was a totally different man with the same personality, new values, and a new outlook on life.

If you have lived 15 years and haven’t evolved into a better version of yourself, something isn’t right. Hence, the change she saw in me.

 

It Get’s Complicated

I didn’t mention that she cheated with a man at her job.

Without giving away the gory details, I’ll tell you that we eventually broke up (not because of her infidelities). She eventually married the man she cheated with and had a child with him. Ironically, he cheated on her (many times), and she came back to me.

Like the young prodigal son, my prodigal ex-girlfriend was lost. She was caught in his web, and when she reemerged 10 years later, she realized the mistake she had made, and I forgave her.

I’ll admit, I was still in love with her. The breakup was premature and could have been avoided. Her fall-from-grace was predictable, considering what she left to be with this man—but, I still loved her, and received her like it was the first day I met her.

 

However

There’s the baby.

In a Facebook group I manage, the question was asked…

…would you take care of the child, if it was conceived while you were in the relationship?

While this child wasn’t conceived while we were together, the marriage spawned as a result of her cheating. From said cheating, and marriage came the baby. The baby we were supposed to have. So, I was resentful and bitter about that. Every time I looked at her child, I would see his face.  The child was a constant reminder of her duplicitous behavior. You have to be a hell-of-a-man to get past that, and honestly… I wasn’t built for that. I forgave her, but our chance at relationship success was spoiled, and well past its expiration date.

 

What About You?

Full disclosure—I’ve had 4 ex’s try to come back. When I say, “ex’s” I mean girlfriends… not women I’ve dated. They don’t count because there was never a relationship established.

The routine is the same, the passive-aggressive approach, small talk, indirect questions, and humility of Moses.

Where’s my, “side-eye,” gif when I need it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, there it is!

The minute they start talking you’re just like… LL in the gif. All you can think of is all the bull dung they put you through. All the lies, and the entire farce of a relationship that cost you months, to years of your life, and they want to come trotting their prodigal ass back home. Some people are able to rekindle relationships like this, compartmentalize their memories and move forward… and honestly, I probably could have if there wasn’t a child involved.

Have you ever had an ex cheat, and then come back into the picture after a long hiatus? Please share your experience in the comments below.
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